SUNSHINE: Necessary, or a Necessary Evil?

Woody Allen squints into the bright sunshine that is bathing London in a rare, warm glow and shakes his head in irritation. “I hate sunshine,” he mutters. “It should be raining.”

The 73-year-old film maker is currently making his fourth film in London and rather than the grey skies and rain that he loves, and that have roles in the movie, he has endured days of sunshine and blue skies. “The sun is a very, very big problem,” he says gloomily.

I agree with you, Mr. Allen, and I don't make movies. I simply like cloudy days.

On any given clear summer day at the beach, just look around at all of the sun worshipers; there are many. They're also getting a tan in the backyard, and at the pool. I know more people who enjoy the sun than ones who enjoy cloudy days, as I do.

I didn't always feel this way. Maybe the moderation that has come with age has been a contributing factor, but for me, it's really more pharmacological and physiological than philosophical. And while enjoying cloudy days is a conscious decision, my body has also had a heavy hand in my decision; it doesn't tolerate the sun very well.

In all fairness, though, my body had help in its decision. For more than half of my adult life I have been prescribed long-term medications that have rendered my body highly susceptible to the sun's effects, such as getting a memorable sunburn in about 10 minutes, an inflamatory response in my skin known as dyshydrotic seborrhea with results that last about 2 weeks, burning itching eyes, headache, and more. This is in addition to an instance of either near heat stroke or heat exhaustion a few years ago that seems to have made me even more susceptible since then to heat problems.

Also in all fairness, the sun has its benefits. Researchers have started recognizing the importance of sunlight for a healthy lifestyle, recent studies reveal that sunlight renders many health benefits. Apart from sunlight maintaining temperature and humidity, sunlight plays a significant role in nourishing and energizing the human body. It is also vital in order to get the full nutritional value from food that we consume and it has been proven that getting sufficient sunlight aids in preventing chronic ailments such as seasonal affective disorder (SAD), osteoporosis, mental depression, type 2 diabetes, and cancers affecting the bladder, breasts, cervix, colon, ovaries, prostate, and the stomach. To put it more succinctly, sunlight serves as the perfect medicinal pill in promoting a healthy lifestyle. One of the prime benefits of sunlight is that it supplies the body with Vitamin D, which not only promotes the absorption of calcium in the gut but also transfers calcium across the cell membranes. Yeah. This in turn provides strength to the bones as well as contributes for a healthy nervous system by increasing the production of endorphins (Mmm, endorphins) in the brain. Usually, deposits of cholesterol-like substances known as ergosterol can be found beneath the skin, which gets converted into Vitamin D hormones when the sunlight penetrates the skin. However, an average of only 10 minutes of sunlight per day all year round will make sure that we reap the benefits of sunlight and make enough vitamin D. A lack of Vitamin D is associated with a host of autoimmune ailments such as Crohn’s disease, multiple sclerosis, rheumatoid arthritis, and thyroditis, I've read.

Sunlight can also harm the human body. Excessive exposure of the unprotected skin results in erythema (sunburn). As I mentioned certain medications, including tetracyclines, estrogens, antidepressants, and many others increase the skin's susceptibility to sunburn. The body has ways to protect itself from skin damage from sunlight. However, after only 2-3 minutes of exposure to the sun, skin damage begins. Two main structural proteins of the skin, collagen and elastin, begin to break down, ultimately resulting in wrinkles. The skin has the ability to repair itself, but repeated and prolonged exposure to the sun damages the skin permanently. Prolonged exposure to the hot sun or any other heat source may cause heat exhaustion or the more serious heatstroke or sunstroke. By far the most serious ill effect of the sun is skin cancer. It's been said that even one or two blistering sunburns as a child have been associated with an increase in skin cancers.

So, I still enjoy cloudy days most. And if it is also raining I like it even more.

So does Woody Allen, as he had to bring out the artificial rain during filming of his movie. "Ah, that's better," said Mr. Allen with a very rare smile.

Something Happened on the Way to Success

I have been working steadily for more than 45 years. During my working life I've neither been a spendthrift nor an extravagant spender. As entertainer extraordinaire Joe Walsh sings, I'm just an ordinary, average guy. But unlike him, I've had a modestly average income, like many Americans who just try to buy a home, rear the kids, put the best food I can afford on the dinner table, save for

retirement, and have a little fun on the way. But lately it seems that something has gone horribly wrong. Well, maybe not horribly, but just not as I had planned a long time ago. Unexpected expenses, the occasional high medical bill, helping a family member who needs a boost...it all just adds up, and takes away. This isn't a complaint post, just my observation about my life road map that has had hidden financial pitfalls.

I don't have a lot of 'manly' toys, no second home on the beach, no third home in the English countryside, no boats and RVs, no vintage autos and wines, no around-the-world cruises, no vacations in Germany where I once lived and promised myself to return and see even more sights. Even though I've never had these things and I don't feel deprived and all crunked up, I still consider myself fortunate and am thankful for what I do have, including my family.

Many acquaintances and friends my age have already retired somehow. My strange-behaviourist brother, who is just a couple of years older than I, has been retired for years. I'm still slogging away. It's not that I don't enjoy what I do and the contributions I make for the good of the company and myself. My employer has been good to me and I never have to dread going to work. I've done that and it's not fun. It's just that, well, working everyday just gets in the way of my valuable leisure time. Naps have to be weekend things and I love a good nap about mid-morning, or mid-afternoon, or both.

No, what I cannot figure out is how so many middle-class slobs have so much more money and stuff and have been able to retire. Money's not everything, of course, but it's how we all keep our own teeth in good order, take good medical care of ourselves, wear decent and clean clothes, drive a dependable vehicle, enjoy the occasional fine dinner, and more.

I've saved and invested like a good little American, while watching idiot murfs on Wall Street sit around picking their teeth and picking the next big thing to make their paydays even more inflated (but not as inflated as their egos). Their winds of investment change have raped and pillaged two generations of investors and I don't expect my portfolio to ever recover from the adjustments the markets have made in the past ten years, putting retirees back in the workforce. Good morning, welcome to Biggie-Mart. If you need help finding something or a store employee...good luck. This is the part of my road map that really, really, and really pisses me off. Bernie Madoff-like murfs fooling around with the economy and effing us all in the short and long runs. If Madoff had made billions with legitimate investments I would simply be envious. He didn't. Drawing and quartering is what that asshat should have to suffer. But only after some other devious punishment. Ahem.

Guys my age with hefty pensions and retirement accounts who just worked in a factory all their lives, or operated a backhoe, or simply worked for someone else. Rich. Wealthy. Taking around-the-world cruises. Good for them. I just cannot figure out what happend. I mean, I'm at Biggie-Mart buying band-aids, bread, milk, coffee's on sale, lunch for work next week, and there are regular joes with their car in the shop--getting the gold plating on their Porche shined up all spiffy. Of course they need it shined up before storing it while they're on the cruise. This is good for them. I don't begrudge them in the least; except for overpaid pro sports and rap thugs. I just can't figure out where I took a wrong turn. After working for so long I feel as if my wife and I are just treading water. Maybe shallow water, but treading just the same. I had envisioned something like this toward retirement time. Yeah, there we are!

Or these

I think somebody's been fooling around with my road map.

Sugar, Baby

I cannot keep my weight at a constant due to my lifelong love affair with Sugar. Yummy, but no, not this Sugar, Finnish Ice Skater Kiira Korpi... Not Actress Brooke Adams, either.

When I found out I have diabetes I weighed 166. I stayed at that weight for about a year or more. During that period I was more vigilant about what I ate. Then I began to date Sugar again. I love her, but she’s no good for me – I’ve been stepped on, lied to, cheated on, and treated like dirt……..and go back for more. Damn you, Sugar.

During many weekends Sugar comes by and upsets everything. It's even worse when MarshaBelle's gone for the weekend and I am alone. On Tuesday this week I weighed 188. Today I’m at 184, the heaviest I’ve been in 4-5 years.

Soon, Sugar will come sashaying around dressed in white, looking all innocent and virginal, with Halloween treats, then Holiday pumpkin and pecan pies, cheesecakes and chocolates, cinnamon rolls and sinfully delicious layer cakes. Not to mention breads and rolls, potatoes and corn, gravy and ganache.

Oh, God, how I hate Sugar. My God how I love Sugar. My cheating with Sugar? It’s probably not going to end…until I do.

Man With Death Wish Slaps Child in Georgia Wal-Mart

On Monday, August 31, 2009, a woman walked through a Walmart in Georgia with her screaming 2-year-old. While it's not pleasant hearing a screaming child anywhere, if the child is not yours be thankful. If the child is yours, be patient. IT'S A CHILD. Infants and small children have been screaming and crying since the beginning of, well, time. And a two year old child who is screaming for any reason is not going to be easily pacified. A two year old's coping skills are extremely limited to non-existant.

But 61 year old Roger Stephens was also having a screaming-fit kind of day. It's obvious that this asshat's coping skills were also non-existant. According to news stories, Stephens allegedly approached the child's mother and said, "If you don't shut that baby up, I will shut her up for you."

At just about the moment that Asshat ended his threat is about the time my handgun would've been pressed up against his forehead. Apparently the mother did not shut her up, because a few minutes later, in another aisle, the man approached them, grabbed the child, and slapped the little girl "4 or 5 times", saying, "See, I told you I would shut her up." Yep, it landed him in jail. This kind of dangerous, life threatening behavior should have landed Stephens in a morgue.

Another customer stopped him, security was called, police came, and Asshat was arrested and charged with cruelty with children in the first degree, which is a felony. His defense? "I apologized to the mother".