Please Share Our Joy (and pass the hat)

10-27-2008 Americans and the U.S. are certainly a charitable lot. In fact the U.S. contributes more to poor countries than any other country on earth. Middle Easterners contribute the least. I guess they’re too busy making and buying weaponry to turn against us to care about charity. And U.S. citizens don’t stop there. Americans donate billions within the country, too. Much closer to home are the worthy charities such as the local food bank, and down-on-their-luck missions. But this post is not about those. It’s about the everyday kinds of “charity” that most of us are subjected to by our peers and co-workers. It’s not even charity, more of a donation. Well, not really a donation. It’s, ah, um. It’s sort of a request for cash or goods couched in the terms of “We’re getting married!”, or, “We have a new grandbaby!”, even “My daughter is getting married, again!”. Hardly a day goes by without an outright, or covert, request for something. Bosses Day, Secretaries Day, Earth Day, Wedding Day, Mitzvahs, Hangnail Day. Each bold announcement comes with its attendant, “We’re registered at…”, which, of course means, “get us something nice here”. If you enjoy disposing of your disposable income that way, that’s perfectly fine. I don’t. I usually have other things to do with my money; groceries, gasoline, car payments, car batteries, fuel systems fouled by – well, not gasoline, utilities, my personal vices and “entertainment”, cell phones, small and large enjoyable gift-giving for my own grandchildren, bank bailouts. Probably about the same as you. I know this sounds stingy, but I don’t feel stingy. It’s simply not-much-money management. If I were going to buy a gift, I’d rather buy one for someone I know and love, like family members, including our extended family. I know and love them very much. I probably don’t know a co-workers’ soon-to-be-wed daughter. Or, I don’t really care that so-and-so is getting married again and will need another wedding gift, similar to the other ones I already gave her. There was one particular co-worker whose daughter was getting married and she had a coworker wedding shower right away. Right away? Soon I understood why. The co-worker left the company within days of the shower. And surely in these financially hard times the boss would understand a modest gift from his grateful employees. And Christmas? My God in Heaven! The credit card companies see it coming. But not from me. The thing is, almost all of us are targets of these kinds of audacious tactics, regardless of what it’s called. Sometimes the giving is from the heart and worthy because we know the recipient and it makes us feel warm and fuzzy. But other times it’s just a brash request for something of value. I don’t recall any one of these announcements ever asking folks to only send best wishes. I might change my whole attitude (but probably not) about these things if the giving ever came back around. But it doesn’t and is not likely to. I'm ok with that, but I will not put up an announcement about a new grandbaby; no one’s really thrilled except the family. Nor will I announce that I am always registered at LL Bean, Lands End, Brooks Brothers and Wal-Mart. However, if you would like to share my joy of the moment by giving me a gift, please do so. Just remember that a truly worthy gift will require you to first pass the hat to everyone you know and anyone with whom you are acquainted in order to obtain the most cash for the best gift. - # -